Social Issues

Vicious Cycles

Here are some ways to look at a couple of problems in our society. Why are some people stressed at the thought of others acting immoral, while others are stressed at the thought of anyone trying to control them? Perhaps it's because of the thickness of their skin. This is a discussion of the two types, their response to threats, and how this is leading to escalating conflict.

What is wrong in our schools? Why does increasing pressure for change often make things worse? Here is a rather pessimistic analysis of the problem.

Recommended Reading

Books I recommend

Stars In My Pocket Like Grains Of Sand by Samuel R. Delany
Science fiction. An exploration of several different societies, and an in-depth look at a society that has chosen politeness and tolerance. Could you live in that society? Triton explores a similar society from a different point of view. These books will be disturbing to both types of Control people, perhaps more so to Control Freaks.

Raising a Thinking Child by Myrna B. Shure, Ph.D.
Written for parents, but useful for everyone. Describes some often-overlooked distinctions (AND/OR, SAME/DIFFERENT, and so on) that are vital for problem solving, and simple exercises for training in how to solve interpersonal problems. Just reading this book will make a difference in how you approach problems.

Six Thinking Hats by Edward de Bono.
The basic idea is that our brains have the capacity to think six different ways--but can only do one at a time well. If a discussion is mixing logic and emotion, or pessimism and optimism, it won't get anywhere. This has worked for me: several unproductive discussions have turned around after I gave a brief description of the six hats and made the participants aware of which hat(s) they were using. Briefly, the hats are: neutral and objective; emotional; cautious and pessimistic; optimistic and positive; creative; and organizing.

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